


remedies for when you're feeling weak

by chicanerywrites



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: F/M, Sexual Experimentation, my kyoru food kink rears its ugly head again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-07-20 02:57:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19984939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chicanerywrites/pseuds/chicanerywrites
Summary: It struck Kyo, in that very moment, that Tohru wasn’t blissfully unaware at all. The look in her eyes was permission and trust and maybe a little bit of want and so, with that fleeting thought, his lips covered her fingers too.





	1. part i

**Author's Note:**

> so i started this two-parter PRIOR to the mabudachi trio finale chapter and certain kyoru implications haven't been honoured lmao 👀
> 
> spoilers for the end of the manga. explicit sexual content. will drop part ii next week! hopefully!

_**part i** _

It was a typical Saturday. Typical meant sleeping in for a few hours more, a morning jog along the canals, having a late breakfast and lazing in front of the television until Tohru and he both decided to grab groceries just before dusk. Of course, Tohru hadn’t exactly stuck to the plan as she usually got up earlier than him. She always made his favourites for breakfast on Saturdays---grilled mackerel and _tamagoyaki_ with the customary side dishes. 

It had been a couple of months since moving into their home--it was an older house, made of dark wood on a narrow street and low hanging ceilings that made Kyo feel a tad trapped. He wouldn’t ever tell Tohru that though. Especially since she gushed over the small _kobushi_ tree in the backyard and her instant smile had made the house their new home. Besides, the rent had been surprisingly decent enough in the picturesque town, isolated by the surrounding mountains. Kyo had wrongly assumed that life would be more frugal but towns such as these were frequented by visiting city-folk for day-trips and the annual fall and spring festivals expected throngs of people so rent prices were slowly rising. They quickly found their footing--Tohru working part-time at the local bakery that specialised in western-style deserts the street over, with way too many sake breweries for Kyo’s liking. Meanwhile, he taught a couple of classes at the local dojo. Both creatures of habit, the days blended into weeks, then months and time languished like the slow-moving rivers.

He padded quietly into the kitchen, the yellow curtains swelling with the spring breeze and airing out the lingering smell of crispy fish. He furrowed his eyebrows at Tohru’s absence. That definitely wasn’t _typical._ Tohru usually waited to eat breakfast with him despite his protests. He could assume that she’d finally listened and ate on her own but that was unlikely. Automatically, he made his way to the _genkan_ and found her well-worn pink flats missing. He scratched the back of his head, befuddled. 

He made his way back to the kitchen, surveying the counters and realised that breakfast was untouched. Ultimately, Kyo was a cynic. He usually assumed the worst and expected the least. Except with Tohru. Only with Tohru. And Tohru wasn’t here right now to keep him tethered. 

Like clockwork, when he could feel panicky nausea start to rise up his throat, he heard the front door being pried open. He sped to the entrance and saw Tohru in a fascinating balancing act---she held the door open with a bent leg, a crate underneath her arm, and her other hand holding pancake flour. 

He rushed over, grabbing the hefty bag and ushering her inside. He poked his head outside momentarily, feeling the light rain spitting from the graying clouds overhead.. He eyed her, noting that she was soaked so clearly he must’ve slept through a downpour. He bit the inside of his cheek, already annoyed.

But then she smiled brilliantly, presenting him with the small wooden crate underneath her arm and opened it proudly, “I picked strawberries!”

“In the rain,” He added, a smile involuntarily tugging at his mouth. _She seriously has me wrapped around her finger._

“The rain was so unexpected, Kyo-kun. But it looks like it’s clearing up some.”

They made their way to the kitchen, Tohru’s receding back facing him, long strands of hair stuck on the nape of her neck. She slightly tugged on her white blouse that was now sheer on her skin and Kyo made the horrifying discovery that he could see _everything_ . She seemed far too preoccupied with the strawberries to notice or care about the state of her attire. It took a grueling amount of strength to keep his eyes firmly on the back of her head, his breathing becoming stilted. He hoisted the bag of pancake flour higher in his arms, wincing when he realised how heavy it was. _How the hell did she bring this on her bike?_ Tohru busied herself with the strawberries, rinsing them in a colander and delighted herself with one, palming her cheeks.

“These strawberries are delicious,” Tohru said, sighing happily, “I think I have just enough strawberries for a cheesecake. I have to go back again.”

“Thanks for the invite,” Kyo murmured woodenly, raising a wry eyebrow. He unceremoniously dumped the flour inside the small pantry.

Tohru turned her head with an alarming speed, and Kyo sadistically enjoyed her features pinch with regret. “Of course we can both go together. I’d love it if you picked strawberries with me.’

“Right, right. Says the person who snuck out this morning. _Without_ me.”

“But you were sleeping in,” Tohru replied with a soft sigh, lowering her head in abject dejection as she faced the sink once more, “I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Sure, sure” Kyo teased, leaning down as his arms looped around her middle. She gave a small yelp of protest.

“You’ll get wet, Kyo-kun.”

“Don’t care,” He muttered, resting his head on her damp shoulder. He could feel her relaxing into his embrace, her head against his chest. The closer proximity didn’t help with the matter of Tohru’s thoroughly soaked blouse, if he thought he could see everything before--their current distance certainly left very little to the imagination. He watched her hypnotically as she reached over to the colander and took out a strawberry, taking an idle bite.

“Good?” He figured speaking would be an adequate distraction from his thoughts.

Tohru widened her eyes comically, nodding as she deftly took a second and final bite of her strawberry. As she hummed appreciatively, Kyo ignored the persistent burn prickling his veins. 

So talking _wasn’t_ helping. 

The pooling in his belly intensified when she reached forward for yet another strawberry despite being in his hold. He knew exactly why he held her firmly in his embrace---the real question was why Tohru was entertaining it at all. Kyo’s eyes were fixated on her fingertips as she reached forward to take another bite and later, much later, when he was cooled down by a shower he’d blame his darkening thoughts for allowing him to lean down, over her shoulder, and carefully take the rest of her strawberry with his teeth. He was fueled by some uncharted thrill and despite succumbing to it, he couldn’t look directly at Tohru, her fingers hazy through the fan of his eyelashes. 

“That one wasn’t ripe,” He announced awkwardly, picking the stem out of his mouth as he failed at ignoring the rise and fall of Tohru’s chest.

She reached forward again, grabbing another strawberry. She was facing him completely now, having turned around in the circle of his arms and her back resting against the ledge of the counter. Wordlessly, she held up the strawberry just above his chin. Kyo wondered if she was blissfully unaware of his intent, but her pink cheeks betrayed her slightly. He sloped downward again, his lips closing over the strawberry, freeing his arms so a firm hand steadied her slender wrist. It struck Kyo, in that very moment, that Tohru wasn’t blissfully unaware at all. The look in her eyes was permission and trust and maybe a little bit of want and so, with that fleeting thought, his lips covered her fingers too.

Her eyes grew impossibly wider, the pink deepening and spreading over her face. He instinctively took hold of her waist, his fingers branching out and then gripping the tail of her blouse. He could feel the tension in his jaw, knew that they were at an awkward angle. The particular strawberry in his mouth was almost too sweet but it was the warm, tart taste that was Tohru’s skin on his tongue that had Kyo soaring.

Tohru stared openly at him now, inching closer as her eyes travelled lower to his lips. His fingers danced idly on her wrist, he too equally transfixed at her expression. And as she watched him swallow, nearing even closer still, a dazed look in her eye--an involuntary needy breath escaped her lips. It was that very sound that blinded him into holding her firmer, fingers tight around her wrist as he licked every bit of the strawberry off her skin. 

The growing heat inside of him spread as she curiously rubbed her fingertips together, teeth worrying at her lip.

“Was that one better, Kyo-kun?” Tohru asked shyly, in a tone that seemed just on the edge of innocent. 

“Yeah,” He replied, his voice tight with need and he surged ahead, kissing her firmly. Her sharp intake of breath devolved into a moan, her arms clutching his shirt to keep her anchored. It wasn’t their standard chaste kiss, their bodies were too enmeshed in one another for that. He braced his arms against the counter, caging Tohru as he tilted his head to coax her mouth to open further. He could feel her hand against his neck, sure that she could feel the frantic shake of his pulse. When the proof of his burning need pressing against her thighs started to feel _too_ good, he knew he had to stop. 

“I’m gonna go on my jog now,” he announced abruptly, his voice was muffled by the hollow of her clavicle, strands of her hair tickling his nose.

“What about breakfast?” Tohru responded, a bit breathless, “We usually eat breakfast before your run.”

Kyo raised his head with a few heaved breaths, gazed into her half-lidded eyes and thumbed her forehead.

“Just go ahead and eat without me. I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay.”

And Kyo high-tailed it out of the kitchen. 

_Fuck._

* * *

Kyo wasn’t totally oblivious. He knew he and Tohru were taking things…slower than the norm. _The norm being my weird fucking cousins and Tohru's even weirder friends._ Even without Hatsuharu’s blatant oversharing, he knew that by the summer of the last year of high school most of the couples around them had more experience. 

And maybe it bothered him, just a bit. Much hadn’t changed since moving into their own place. 

It was complicated. First of all, he didn’t have the luxury of sneaking out to his girlfriend’s house ( _fucking Yuki_ ) and he’d be damned to let things go too far with Shigure lurking about. There was also the matter of what _too far_ even was...for him and for Tohru. Because what she thought mattered most of all and if she was content with them making out endlessly then who was he to complain?

 _Yes_ , Kyo thought, running until his lungs were crying, _If she’s happy what the fuck does it matter?_ He knew the mechanics of how things worked between girls and guys. He wasn’t a complete dolt. There might have also been a book penned by his lecherous cousin that Hatsuharu forced on him a few months back.

_“It’ll help, I promise,” Hatsuharu had said, with a solemn nod, “Even if Shigure-sensei’s taste level is questionable.”_

And maybe said book brazenly outlined romance and sex in ways that left more fearful questions than answers for Kyo. Maybe.

* * *

Tohru wasn’t sure how exactly they had become entangled like this, underneath the weight of their blankets. She’d intended to just give Kyo her customary kiss goodnight, but her hands started to creep up his jaw and she suddenly began to remember their kiss all those weeks ago in the kitchen, Kyo’s eyes half-lidded with desire and his mouth filled with the taste of strawberries. 

She curled deeper into him, sighing as she peppered small kisses along his jaw, near his ear. His hands began to roam, first over her night-shirt and then tentative fingers travelling underneath until Kyo’s fingers scraped the underside of her left breast.

“Tohru. _Tohru_.” 

His voice was shaping her name along her collarbone, a hand cupping her fully now. _._

Tohru was already half lost in the sensation of his touch. Kyo had never been this close before. She could feel his hands skating across the ridge of her hipbone and suddenly their bodies weren’t near enough and Tohru closed the scant distance between them with a roll of her hips as Kyo hovered over her. She could feel him, all of him, hot and warm against her thigh and it made her stomach drop but in a pleasant way somehow. 

All at once, Kyo had pushed himself off with a grunt, sitting next to her on the bed in a puffing heap. 

Tohru took a good look at Kyo, his hair mussed and chest heaving--the way his eyebrows were drawn down, his fingers digging into the light blue bed sheets violently, his back ramrod straight against the headboard.

 _Kyo-kun’s uncomfortable_ . _I made him uncomfortable._

Tohru let out a shaky breath, steeling herself. _Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t--_

“I’m sorry, Kyo-kun,” Tohru whispered, fighting hot tears. 

As if in slow motion, Kyo turned to look at her and his mouth still downturned but his eyebrows furrowed in a complete picture of repentance.

_Why does Kyo-kun look so sad?_

“Kyo-kun--”

“I should be sorry,” he interjected, voice gruff and frustration palpable, “ _I_ should be. Not you.”

Tohru attempted to blink away her confusion and welled up tears. She reached over and pressed a few clammy fingers on his upturned wrist, listening to his heartbeat raptly.

“---making a mess of things...,” he trailed off to himself, words seemingly spent. 

“Maybe neither of us should feel sorry.” Tohru offered.

Kyo reached for her, cradling her head delicately against his shoulder. He sighed, scratching small circles along her scalp. 

“You know s-sex is _different_ for girls.”

Tohru giggled softly, amused at his shy declaration. “I know, Kyo-kun.”

“What I mean is…what I mean is that I want to make you feel good,” He continued, averting his eyes, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I don’t think you’d ever hurt me.”

He nudged the centre of her forehead with a gentle thumb, grimacing, “I distinctly remember hurting you the very day we met.”

“On purpose. You’d never hurt me on purpose,” Tohru quickly amended, without missing a beat. 

Kyo half-groaned and laughed wearily.

“I’m clumsy and react too quickly and I don’t have enough self-control right now. I don’t.”

“If it helps, Kyo-kun…you did make me feel good. Just now.”

He chuckled against her neck, his warm breath sending shivers down her spine. “You seriously have the lowest expectations.”

“I love everything about you and I wish you had more faith in yourself.”

Kyo reddened, scuffing his nose. “Seems like you got enough faith for the both of us so I’ll leave you to it.”

Tohru nodded mutely, nuzzling deeper into Kyo’s one-armed hug as the comfortable silence stretched on. A part of her knew he was making a self-deprecating joke but she _would_ have enough faith for the both of them. _Forever and always._

“There’s something that I could do,” Kyo whispered, his voice low against her ear, “if you’re--if it’s okay with you.”

“I trust you.” 

And truly it went without saying, of course she would trust the person who cherished her every thought and feeling.

“This is _so_ embarrassing.” Kyo half-groaned into his hands, leaning forward with his legs bent.

Tohru rubbed his back soothingly, waiting patiently.

Kyo let out a low hiss of breath and nodded to himself. He motioned for her to lay down next to him on the bed with a pat of his hand. Moving closer, he rested his head against her neck, breathing shallowly. His hand was splayed at her waist, trailing lower until hesitant fingers stopped at the apex of her thighs, gingerly lifting her night-shirt. The cool air in the room quickly tingled her legs but she was on fire, her chest beating wildly. He nudged deeper into her neck, eyelashes tickling her as Kyo’s hand delved deeper, lightly pressing along her panties. It was that sole touch that reminded her, _far far too late_ , that she was wearing the most ridiculous underwear. Old, fading green and most definitely not any of the cute pairs Uo-chan and Hana-chan helped her pick out all those months ago. Instinctively, Tohru snapped her thighs shut, sucking in a breath so that her lungs were pacified.

Kyo’s eyes widened, his hand flying away from her like he was scorched. 

“ _Shit_. I’m sorry.”

“No, Kyo-kun it’s not--”

“It’s okay,” Kyo interjected, his gaze firm. “Will start even slower...have you touched yourself there?”

He pressed at the lower part of her belly, the fuzz on her hair standing on end. Tohru breathed in a shaky breath and shook her head unsure of where his line of questioning was going. 

“Try that first,” Kyo continued, his voice impossibly soft. 

“Now?” Tohru breathed sheepishly, feeling slightly feverish.

“I won’t look, if that’s what you want.”

“But then...why?”

“So you know what you like, I guess.” Kyo replied shakily, “and then you can explain it to me after.”

“Oh,” Tohru responded weakly. The ripple of varying emotions running a current through her body left her practically speechless. 

True to his word, Kyo turned around and away from her, elbows tucked in. She waited a few moments and with hesitant fingers, she worked her way down. She immediately realised she was wet and flushed with embarrassment. She cupped herself, her fingers tense and thoroughly puzzled by how hollow she felt but sensitive too. She shifted her legs, trying to mask the noise the friction between her fingers and wetness were making. She looked surreptitiously at Kyo, who was rigid.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she confessed softly.

She could see him taking a laboured breath, his shoulders rising and falling. 

“That’s okay. Take your time.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, nodding. 

She tried again, splaying her fingers over herself and prodding desperately. She let out a weak whimper and she could feel Kyo move and shift beside her. 

“Are you okay?”  
  
“I really don’t know what I’m doing, Kyo-kun,” Tohru responded, a sob tight in her throat. 

“Do you want to stop?”

Stop frustrating herself? _Absolutely._ But she was afraid uttering those words would break this rare, fragile moment of intimacy between them. 

Tohru gulped audibly, summoning as much courage as she could. “I want you to help.”

“Are--are you _sure_?” Kyo’s muffled voice was incredulous. 

Tohru nodded, knowing he couldn’t even see her but she was tongue-tied, unable to put words the torrent of emotions that had her frozen.

She could hear the rustling of the bedsheets and instinctively shut her eyes. The rough pad of his fingers brushed slick strands away from her forehead. His thumb rubbed the knot between her eyes, his hand eventually nestling to cradle her cheek. 

“You’re fine, Tohru.”

She opened her eyes hesitantly, and one look into his warm, glistening eyes had her relieved. 

“I feel better.”

Kyo raised a dubious eyebrow, laughing. “I didn’t do anything, dope.”

“Seeing your face made me feel better,” Tohru clarified, smiling. 

She knew all of this was a delicate balancing act. She knew that Kyo’s fear was really the proof of his love for her. She could be brave enough for the both of them. She had to be. 

“Try again,” Kyo encouraged softly, a light press of his lips along the edge of her chin.

“I won’t look.”

Tohru tightened her first, biting her lip. “I-I don’t mind, Kyo-kun. If you do.”

She reached forward again, eyes half-closed, fingers delving underneath her panties and Tohru felt tempered desire again. She could feel the weight of Kyo’s chest against her arm, his fingers drawing comforting circles on her clothed side, his other hand restlessly brushing away strands, but most importantly his eyes never leaving her face.

“How’re you doing?” Kyo asked, his voice taking on a low, hoarse edge that alighted something within her.

“It feels...better.”

“Good.”

“ _But_ \--”

She nearly sagged, defeat nearing once again when she suddenly felt Kyo pinning her fingers between his hand and her body. He slid her hand back down, not breaking eye-contact. 

“I’ll help. You want me to help, right?”

“Yes. Please.”

And the contact of Kyo’s sweat-slicked fingers on top of hers, slowly making the short descent into her wet warmth made Tohru’s breath hitch, the beating of her heart practically deafening her. She started moving two of her fingers, quickly finding a pattern as Kyo’s fingers filled her. 

The tension slowly left her body, being replaced with a delirious need. Her attention was split like fractals - she wasn’t sure what to focus on: Kyo breathing raggedly against her neck or his fingers moving painfully slow, keeping her taut.

Her breath caught again, her back lifting up slightly from their bed and her toes pointing downward. _I feel like I’m drowning._ But it was hot. So hot. She could feel the hot water slowly rising inside of her, swaying up and down, like waves. _Like the ocean._

“Kyo-kun.” Every time she attempted to say Kyo’s name, her words ended up a broken moan. She parted her legs wider, and Kyo’s tongue was warm on her neck.

His thumb was gliding against that curious nub now and she waited impatiently for his fingers to find it again. Letting out a frustrated breath, her body arched, chasing something fleeting, and new and _good_. 

“You’re so warm, Tohru.”

Kyo’s frantic, hot words against her neck tore a moan from her throat. He guided her fingers, pulsing in and out of her. His thumb worked over her now, over and over and she could feel the scorching water surrounding her, choking her, pulling her in.

She grabbed Kyo’s wrist, keeping him still as she mindlessly rocked into his hand. And with an overwhelming tug inside of her, her body was wrought with tremors. All at once, it was gone. _All of it_ \--the heat, the blind need and even Kyo’s fingers. 

Staggered breaths in tandem filled their small bedroom, Kyo slowly rolling onto his back, cheeks reddened and an arm likely covering furtive eyes. Tohru contemplated silently, realising she felt shy and unsure but underneath it all was a warmth unfurling in her chest. _Everything’s okay, Kyo-kun. See?_ She locked her ankles, raising bent knees against her chest, watching Kyo’s steadying breathing with a bashful smile.

_We’re okay._


	2. part ii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for the wonderfully encouraging comments and kudos. i was a bit late with the update due to life but part ii is finally here. 
> 
> i'm delighted to be part of such a talented, encouraging and kind-hearted fandom. like HONESTLY. <3

**_part ii_ **

The evening was miraculously cool despite the warmer than usual May afternoon--sky a melancholy, cotton-candy pink. 

And yet Tohru was burning. 

She looked furtively at Kyo again-- _oh, for the thousandth time_ \-- half-sprawled on the floor with his head held by an elbow, entranced at his sour expression as he watched a game-show. One of the contestants had fallen head-first into a pool, unable to climb up the stairs covered in grease and soap.

But he always insisted on watching it, derisively sharing the strategies that he’d use. She smiled softly to herself, bemused. Strangely, her eyes trailed lower, a sliver of stomach being idly scratched by his free hand and a low, burning ache had her mortified. 

She reached for her glass of water on the table, mostly melted ice at this point, and took a hulking gulp. She winced, hiccuping. 

“You okay?”

Tohru nodded at his hushed, hoarse voice-- fighting a furious flush. “Yes.”

He mirrored her nod, turning back to the television as his attention turned rapt. 

Something had changed. Ever since _that_ night, only a couple of weeks ago. A look from Kyo and she was engulfed. 

She remembered Uo-chan’s words, after she had desperately called her confused and horrified by her sudden yearning for Kyo days after he touched her so intimately. Kisses didn’t seem to be enough anymore. _When will the wanting stop, Uo-chan?_

Uo had laughed heartily, _Kyo’s such a big baby. Just jump his bones, Tohru._

Kyo had gotten up abruptly, grabbing her half-empty cup with a rattle and cradled her cheek delicately, brushing a featherlight kiss on her forehead.

“I’ll get you some more water,” He murmured with a lingering gaze that had her stomach flopping.

She was initially horrified by Uo’s suggestion. _I could never be so forward, Uo-chan._ But as the weeks had pressed on, Tohru considered Uo’s compelling words. 

_I love Kyo-kun so much. I know he loves me too...but..._

Kyo’s love for her was evident in the way he knocked the window after they said their goodbyes in the morning, just so she had one last fleeting look through the half-drawn window. It was in the curve of his timid smile, the crinkle in his eye, it was in his leek congee all those years ago and even now. She felt it in the whisper of his touch on her shoulder and the small of her back. It was in the downturn tilt of his chin before their first, second, third and endless kisses. 

But lately she was beguiled by the other curious, exciting forms their love could take. 

The idea of it sits inside of her, heavy and sweet and so, so warm.

* * *

Kyo was convinced he was possessed.

He sighed warily, keeping his eyes forward on the television and his body safely distant. The sound of her sipping water, ice cubes clunking against her glass already had him on edge. He could imagine her lips on the rim of the cup, then an idle lick on her bottom, blush-pink lip.

This had to be an illness. _Hopefully_ temporary. 

His senses had gotten dimmer and dimmer as the days drew on, thoughts of Tohru in various states of undress punctuated the beginning and end of everyday. It was a fever he couldn’t break, a heat that pricked his veins--had him feeling faint and weak and _sick._

Because touching Tohru intimately had ignited something raw, feral and uncontrollable in him. 

He had miraculously been entrusted with Tohru’s heart. Out of all the _fucking_ men in the world, she had given it to him. His suffocating want for her body frightened him and he couldn’t imagine what it would do to Tohru.

_And what she would think of me…_

So when he took her glass cup, mostly spurred on by the need to touch her, he’d make sure it was no more than dusting a kiss on her forehead, fingers dancing lightly on her soft cheek.

* * *

Tohru wasn’t exactly sure what compelled her to quietly open the washroom door, palm slick on the doorknob, letting it ease open with a faint groan and tip-toe in ...only to just _stand_ . She wiggled her toes to get back the feeling in her wooden body, the plush fabric of the bathroom mat tickling her. A primal part of her knew the plan was to go into the shower _with_ Kyo but wishful thinking turned into a full-blown nightmare and now she was utterly frozen.

_Just jump his bones, Tohru._

Tohru squeezed her eyes shut, the words spinning in her head. 

Finally she cleared her throat, thumping her chest over her white towel and hesitantly murmured “Kyo-kun..?”

“Huh? Tohru? Just a second.” His surprised voice was muffled by the gushing water from the showerhead.

Tohru gripped the bottom of her white towel, trembling. She had that pit in her stomach, the rising nausea so scarily and distantly familiar. 

She closed her eyes, breathing low and heavy. She jerked back at the abrupt pull of the shower curtain but kept her eyes firmly closed. Kyo was _definitely_ out of the shower now--there was a telling change in the air, droplets of water hitting the tiled floor, the squeak of his feet as he neared. The feel of warm breath tickling her neck made it clear that he was alarmingly close and yet he didn’t say a word and she didn’t dare open her eyes to confirm. 

Stubbornly ignoring her numbing white-knuckled hands, she gripped her towel harder. There was no going back now. 

“What are you doing?” Kyo intoned, each syllable punctuated by an echo.

“I’m not sure,” She replied, panic tight in her throat. Familiar pins-and-needles danced along her cheeks.

The silence stretched, the dripping water echoing throughout the tiny washroom. She wanted to open her eyes. No, she _needed_ to open her eyes.

She felt a firm tug on her hand, fingers slippery around the circle of her wrist. Tohru could’ve sworn she heard the tiniest of sounds leave Kyo’s lips. Her eyes finally snapped open, miraculously at the back of Kyo’s head, orange tendrils spiked and flattened this way and that. She took in the clean lines of his jaw, eyes magnetically trailed lower to broad strong shoulders, a defined back and finally the sharp cut of his hip bones as he swiveled around to face her.

_What am I doing?_

Suddenly, she found herself being hauled by his arms and inside the bathtub. 

“Kyo-kun--wait..” Her breath hitched unevenly. 

Her towel snagged precariously past her chest as she automatically yanked it back, too shaken to see if Kyo had noticed. She kept her eyes firmly down, Kyo’s feet centimetres away from her. Draining water circled around them.

“You should probably take off your towel.”

She let out a staggering breath and did just that. Leaning over, she draped the towel haphazardly over the rack.

“Turn around and close your eyes.” Kyo said, voice uncharacteristically collected and firm.

Robotically, she complied. Somehow that felt like the safest thing to do. The unexpected dollop of cold shampoo made her inwardly stiffen. She took a sniff-- _no, it’s the coconut conditioner._ Gentle and unsure fingers began gathering hair at her neck, then she felt the faint back-and-forth of her wide-tooth comb. 

If she took one step back, she would’ve felt his chest against her back. His knees slightly knocking the back of her knees made that very clear. Sometimes, Kyo would lean close, his nose grazing her neck faintly.

Her heart felt close to bursting when hesitant fingers raked through the ends of her hair. 

“Am I doing it right?” Kyo’s voice was now tentative and slightly cracking. A shiver crawled up her spine,

She swallowed, mouth cotton-dry. “Yes. But I think you used my conditioner, Kyo-kun.”’

“Oh, _shit_. Does that matter?”

Tohru giggled. “It’s okay.”

His fingers were featherlight on her nape again, hands drifting lower until he cupped her elbows as he pulled her along the slippery bathtub tiles, the sound of cascading water growing louder.

“Close your eyes.”

“They’ve been closed the whole time, Kyo-kun.”

He snorted. “So you show up naked during my shower and then chicken out?.”

“N-not really.”

“ _Yes._ Really.” Then his voice went lower, close to the shell of her ear. “Lean back a bit.”

Warm water made her momentarily stiffen, Kyo carefully massaging her scalp as he washed her hair. 

“Braver than me.”

Kyo’s whispered words were barely audible over the rushing water.

“Well, it was technically Uo-chan’s idea…” Tohru replied airily.

“Hmm. One of her better ideas.”

Tohru beamed. “She’s great.”

“Don’t ever, _ever_ tell her I told you that,” He groused.

“Roger.”

She heard the familiar clunk of metal as Kyo returned the handheld showerhead, the water now a thin running stream. 

Fingers curled around her waist, uncertain and light, warmth immediately pooling to her stomach with a tremor as she kept her gaze firmly at her feet. 

“I’ll let you finish up,” Kyo breathed, his roughened voice reverberating in her head. She nodded wordlessly, fighting the contented sigh that almost left her lips as he lightly squeezed her side before gingerly stepping out of the shower. 

A cold draft washed over her back and legs, steam dissipating as Kyo exited the washroom. 

Now that the adrenaline was thoroughly worn off, Tohru just felt embarrassed. She made quick work with the rest of her shower, clumsily wrapping her towel around her middle, sliding into her slippers and walked into their bedroom. Wet hair had water slightly running into her eyes, obscuring her vision as she made a beeline to her drawers. 

“Get on the bed.”

Kyo’s voice sounded low and distant, as if he wasn’t all there. She looked up, haphazardly pushing away long, wet strands of hair away from her face as she shielded her breasts with another hand. It seemed she was finally courageous enough to make eye contact with Kyo, taking in his cheeks tinged pink, gray sweatpants dangerously low on his hips, as he pointed a thumb towards the bed. 

Painfully swallowing the growing lump in her throat, she hastily pulled on a pair of panties and a dress.

Sitting primly on the edge of the bed, she folded her hands on her lap. It dawned on her, as she adjusted the straps of her pale yellow dress, that she forgot to wear her bra.

Tohru felt a sag on the right side of the bed and instinctively turned to take in the sight of Kyo, currently sitting back kneeling against the headboard without a word. 

They locked eyes, her cheeks alighted with a searing heat. An involuntary smile flitted across Kyo’s face, an innocent eagerness gleaming in his eyes.

“Come closer, goof.”

Tohru laid down, turning on her side, suddenly feeling strangely shy as she scooted closer. It was easier, like this. She could lock her legs close together, twining her hands and pressing it against her racing heart.

“So.”

“So...” Tohru echoed instantly, eyebrows pinched with worry. 

Kyo sighed.“This is awkward.”

“I’m sorry.”

Kyo flopped down, facing her, half-leaning to tuck wayward damp strands behind her ear. “Don’t apologise.”

Tohru nodded, savouring the sensation of his featherlight fingers by her ear. “I feel like I’ve somehow made things worse.”

“What things?” He ventured, quirking an eyebrow. 

“I just--I just want to make you feel good too.” Tohru stammered. “I don’t know how or where to begin.”

“Me too.” Kyo whispered, soft and insistent and she could see the tell-tale signs of frustration knotting his forehead. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

“You did fine." Tohru murmured, suddenly feeling breathless. "Last time."

“Really? You were touching yourself. I didn’t do anything”

Tohru shook her head, curling her feet deeper into the covers, blushing furiously. “I-I’ve tried. Since then. By myself. It’s not the same.”

“Oh.”

Kyo stopped breathing. He was frozen, for more heartbeats than Tohru could barely keep count of. She was so attuned to the hypnotic rhythm--the low hum of his breathing--that the absence of it made the roaring flames inside of her quell with fear and anticipation. 

“I’ve made things more awkward.” She finally surmised.

“No,” Kyo muttered, covering his eyes with his arms, “No, this is good. I mean it’s good to know….that.”

“Okay.”

She so desperately wanted to take hold of his face so she could look into the amber hearth of his eyes but her hands were shaking so violently and she was afraid that she couldn't speak and think and touch all at the same time. Not like this. 

Tohru waited, and then hesitantly: “Are you okay, Kyo-kun?”

“Yeah, I just...I just need a moment.”

She couldn’t deny she was curious. 

He looked up, inhaling a ragged breath, eyes travelling over the length of her body and his gaze eventually lingered curiously at her nose. “I need to get control.”

“Please don’t,” Tohru whispered emphatically. “I want you to lose control.”

She heard a long intake of breath, and then soft, inscrutable: “Tohru...I don’t think you get it.”

“Make me get it. Help me understand.”

"I don’t want to fuck it up. I want it to be perfect with you.”

“It _is_ perfect.”

“I don’t want you to regret it. Or get scared.”

“I love you.” Tohru responded, firm despite feeling slightly floored at his honest admission.

Kyo scowled into the crook of his elbow, then resignedly thumbed the constellation of freckles on her bare shoulder.

Tohru smiled, idly toeing his shin underneath the covers. 

“You don’t realise….you make me feel good all the time. Touching or not. Sometimes, I feel like I’m possessed or something.” He clenched his fist and then stared at it as if his enclosed fingers held the proper words, “When you’re talking, moving, breathing ...it's separate from loving you, if that makes sense.”

“Sometimes, Kyo-kun’s smile makes me burn inside just as much as it makes me happy.” Tohru replied, tilting her head as she racked her mind to explain, “So I think it’s just another part of love, Kyo-kun. Scary, new and different”

Kyo nodded dazedly, rubbing irregular, staggering circles on her clothed side.

“Gotta admit--it’s not exactly your smile that I’m thinking about when,” Kyo paused, voice reluctantly raw “...when I feel that way.”

“What are you thinking about?”

“Stuff. Guy stuff.”

Tohru couldn’t move at that revelation. Couldn’t look at him, ducking her head down. Couldn’t move at the inrush of feeling, hope and desire. He _desired_ her. And though she couldn’t wrap her mind around what he imagined, the fact that he imagined at all had her weightless. 

Kyo brushed his hand on the lower part of her exposed thigh, thumbing a bruise. Tohru winced at the unexpected pang of pain, wrinkling her nose. “Where’d that come from?”

“I tripped.”

He leaned over, feeling his warm breath before he pressed a soft kiss on her thigh, millimetres away from the bruise. She realised she was holding a breath as soon as he drew near, and shakily let it out as he came closer pressing a lingering kiss on her forehead. 

Kyo hovered over her, pressing another chaste, soft kiss on her lips. Twinning her arms around his neck, she drew him closer, Kyo’s teeth lightly grazing her bottom lip. He adjusted himself, boldly insinuating one of his legs between hers, pressing more firmly into her body. He deepened their kiss, as she swallowed a needy groan at the sudden friction and heat. She clutched haplessly at his bare shoulders, an elbow caging her head. His other hand was at her side, impossibly still making circles just underneath her dress. His gaze suddenly became hungry--soaking her in like a dry towel. The subtle brush of fingers turned to blatant squeezing, his hands roaming over and past her ribs to her chest, her toes curling. He leaned closer, and she could feel his hardness pressing into her outside thigh. He rocked against her, the pleasant tingling between her thighs flaring to life. Tohru had lost count of Kyo’s kisses, each one running into the next, all equally hot, searing and insistent. Her hand distractedly brushed against Kyo’s hardness and he hissed, burying his head deeper in her neck, her lips forgotten.

Emboldened and curious, she purposely slid her hand down his length again, the heel of her palm pressing down the thickest part of his girth.

“Tohru..” Kyo sighed brokenly, fingers pressing desperately into her hip. “...wait.”

“Please let me, Kyo-kun.”

He lifted his head, looking at her red-faced and panting. The sweet, carnal urging in his eyes encouraged her once more. She stroked him fully this time, and he bucked into her hand. Her eyes widened with wonder. 

“You first,” He breathed shakily.

She was too immersed in his reaction to her touch to fully comprehend what he just said. His hand skimmed underneath her dress, over the waistband of her panties, hooking a finger with the elastic and Tohru nearly burned with the anticipation. His hand slipped down her underwear, tentative fingers just under her navel.

“But it’s supposed to be your turn,” Tohru whispered thickly against his neck.

“That’s not how it works. There are no turns.”

He finally eased two fingers into the damp groove her folds, and suddenly his thumb was stroking that curious nub Tohru had discovered recently. He pressed small, feverish kisses on her temple, her left collar bone, her neck, her cheeks.

“...okay?”

Tohru nodded her dizzying agreement, her head pushed more firmly into his neck. 

Kyo kissed her ear, sighing. “This is good for me too, Tohru. You have no idea. I could do this forever.”

Tohru let out a broken moan, aimlessly reaching for Kyo’s face and kissing his chin. All of a sudden, it felt too good but not nearly good enough. She felt like she was on fire. Instinctively, she spread her legs more. Kyo deepened his touch, his breath catching on her neck. His strong fingers gliding in and out and in and it still wasn’t enough and Tohru could feel her hips moving to appease the aching emptiness. 

Tohru wasn’t sure what made her finally break. It could have been hesitant, reverent curl of his calloused fingertip that did her in. Or maybe Kyo’s lips moving against her left cheek, his breath hot. Perhaps it was Kyo’s left hand moving in time with her, touching himself. The breath melted out of her, a long, soft croon. 

“Good?” He asked with a pant, his wet mouth against her neck slowly centering her. 

“Oh.” Tohru whispered, her breath steadying, “Good. _Good_.”

Kyo let out a short chuckle. “Very encouraging”

“Do you want me to..?”

“Do you want to...?”

Tohru snorted a giggle. “I asked first.”

“But your answer is more important.” Kyo pressed, searching her eyes.

“Yes. Please let me.”

Tohru had already begun to unravel at the simmering she noted in his gaze--gentle and so so shy. She resolutely stared at him until he nodded a soft consent, reaching forward and shifting her until she was straddled along the span of his spread legs. Swallowing thickly, she rested her small hands on his thighs, hesitant fingers reaching for the strings of his sweatpants.

“I’ll do it. Just give me a second.”

Cheeks burning, Kyo buried his face in the hollow of her throat, muscles taut. She closed her eyes, offering him a few moments of privacy. She could hear fumbling tugs of clothing and finally, against her neck:

“You have to stop when I tell you to. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Tohru looked down, swallowing gasp. He was unbearably still even when her hands tentatively wrapped around his length. Curiously, her fingers molded around him, testing different pressures. She was fascinated at the feel of him - soft and velvety. And when he twitched in her hands a broken sigh fanning against her throat, she was certain that it must’ve felt good for him. Curiously, she thumbed the tip of him--wet and slippery--his open-mouthed groan wet on her throat.

A lone hand found purchase on the back of her dress and the other slid over her nimble fingers, guiding her, his quickening breathing encouraging her to stroke up and down clumsily. She felt his breath catch against her throat, his hips bucking against her and Tohru felt that exhilarating warmth unfurl inside of her. Every tremor that ran through his frame echoed inside of her, partaking in his pleasure as if it were her own.

His little catches of breath were now unbridled gasps tumbling out of his mouth and then she felt his hand leave her slickened, wet fingers to curl around her neck and pull her into a sweet, languid kiss that contrasted starkly with the quickening pace of her hands and the shuddering of his body. 

“St-stop Tohru,” He breathed in between low, hot moans. But she couldn’t. _How can I Kyo-kun?_ She watched, entranced, as his bare, hard stomach tightened and convulsed. Mesmerised at the knowledge that it was _her_ doing this to him. 

She felt his body stiffen against her, breathing unevenly against her shoulder. As he regained his senses, eyes dancing over her expression until it sought its way down to her hands, dismay slowly took over his face. Tohru was left thoroughly puzzled at his reaction. 

He got up quickly, Tohru pointedly looking away from, still reeling. He sat in front of her moments later and began wiping her fingers with a damp washcloth with surgical precision, Tohru watching in mild confusion. Sweat dampened the hair at his brow, lips a severe firm line. 

“I’m sorry,” He murmured, finally, face incredibly red, “That was...gross of me.”

Tohru blinked, startled. “Did it disgust you when it was me?”

“Of course not!” He exclaimed, frowning. “Why-- _why_ would you think that?”

“So it’s the same for me, Kyo-kun. I’m not disgusted.”

Another blush spread over his face, finally groaning. When he took note of her quizzical expression he murmured, “Guy Stuff. I’m thinking of Guy Stuff.”

“And that’s okay, Kyo-kun.” Tohru assured, biting her lip determinedly despite the growing heat on her cheeks forcing her to look downward. 

Then he gave her a bruising kiss, hands sliding underneath her dress slipping from the base of her spine to the nape of her neck. One hand held her head steady, the taste of him in her mouth overwhelming. He pressed a soft kiss against her damp palm and she was so happily overwhelmed with affection, her heart being warmed by a different kind of heat. 

* * *

“I meant it before. When I said you’re braver than me.”

She looked up through the curtain of her hair, lips parting soundlessly, eyes roving over his with a glistening, unsaid emotion. 

“You always have been.” He added, exhaling slowly against her hair, silky-soft flyways tickling his jaw. “Even back then, you said that you loved me and I can imagine how fucking hard it was ‘cause I was ready to die with it being unsaid.”

The back of her fingers brushed against his cheek and he prayed she couldn’t feel the crusted tears there. Tears that had fallen unbidden as he watched her sleep tranquilly, overwrought with the knowledge that she was _his_ and he was _hers_ and this was _real._

“There are many ways to show love, Kyo-kun. Each and every way is beautifully brave.”

And something shifted within him at her soft, soothing words. Words that made everything sound so inexplicably easy. 

It was the sort of moment to repeat to her-- _for the fucking thousandth time_ \--how much he loved her but his throat ached, likely due to his heart being lodged there, throbbing and frantic. He breathed through his nose, curling a hand around her wrist--two fingers resting on her pulse point, steady, slow, strong---

\--and undeniably real. 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @deucesmuch  
> where i basically show crackhead like tendencies about fruits basket and kyoru specifically 😌


End file.
